my reason to smile

how life can make us cry in the middle of the night
when no one else is there to even soothe us or calm us
i lost all the faith i have in my heart and struggling to get it back
i tried and i kept trying to search for even a glimpse of spark of light
to make me believe that there is still hope
that after each and every night that would pass by me
another tomorrow will shine through that window and will make me happy
i tried to count the days that i was standing still and doing nothing
and even that i failed to remember
i listened long enough to my sigh and i felt deeply hurt inside
yet the tears that wanting to shed and dwell into my eyes
just remain wounding my soul and my heart
i want to walk along the sand with my bare foot
to feel the earth and what beneath that shaking my world
i want to swim the ocean and meet its end
but all i can do is just to stay still and be afraid
and each time i greet my loved ones with a smile
a part of me is crushing and dying slowly and painfully inside
to bear the torn that deeply rooted into my heart
a baby inside of me makes me wanting to survive
another life that has yet to come
another soul that has yet to dream
another hands that has yet to pray
and another smile that will heal the wounds away
and even if no one is around tonight and the night that comes
my little baby in my womb holding me tight
and as i cry to my deepest sadness
my angel just moved a little telling mom we will be alright
and as i let the tears to flow gushing in my eyes
i hope tomorrow as i wake up... i will still smile even if i am hurting inside

one final goodbye

you came to my life when i needed you most
i started to smile in the midst of my sadness
and because of you i started to wait for better tomorrow
i hate to say good bye yet i can't hold onto you forever
though i told i wont cry i just can't help it as if i will die
sorry if i hurt you in so many ways
i am guilty to have broken your once very strong heart
but i know you are much stronger than i do
and i know you can stand your way through
and if one day you had thoughts about me
i hope it will not make you bitter but will make you miss me
it hurts to write this letter
it tear every part of my soul
but whatever there is between us
i was so thankful to have had you
so grateful to have known you
and learned that love doesn't need reasons to be true
thank you for the love though i am not worthy of
one final goodbye will give you your first step to life
move on as you always wanted to do so
and in every inch of the way i know you'll make it through
i will hod on to that small hope in my hand
and walk along with you though in different path
i love you now and will always do

my new found strength

i never knew how it felt like to be a little girl of someone
i thought i never been a child before
i never call some one as my dad
and from heaven god gave me you...my only dad
thank you for keeping my eyes warm
during the days i cried and you tried hard to let it dry
though i've known you just for days
it doesn't matter to me as long as you've came by to my life
i love you daddy and will always will
and thank you for allowing me to be your special girl
yesterday i was so surprised to have let you touch my heart
today i was so amazed what changes you've brought into my life
and hoping tomorrow i could make you proud of me like your real child
for my real parents seems to be nowhere to be proud of me
and as i cry every time i think of them
i wish to hold your hand to find the strength i need
to dry my eyes and make me sleep
and to hear you say to me everything will be just fine one day...
thank you daddy boyet for the love that you gave to me
i have nothing to give back but only my trust and my broken heart...
my smile that used to hide the pains i had...
i will always keep the pains away as long as i have my only dad like you to stay...